Saturday, September 22, 2007

Sunday Scribblings

#78 - "Hi, my name is..."


Victor was admitted into Sunnydale Home for odservation/assesment by his beloved family who believed that he had lost his ability to manage his affairs. This came about because he talked to his lawyer about changing his will. He was inquiring into leaving the bulk of his assests to the 'Save The Children Foundation' and somehow his ex-wife discovered this and rallied the family around the theory that poor Victor had lost his marbles. It has become obvious that his Ex must be playing 'Hide the sausage' with his lawyer, his ex-lawyer rather. He wondered if it is possible to fire your lawyer while you are in a mental home? It didn't matter, all that mattered at the moment was that he would be stuck here for at least the weekend. The good doctor couldn't assess him until Monday.

The other thing that pissed him off was that he was promised that he would not have to interact with the rest of the "guests" until after his assessment, that promise wasn't worth a hill of beans, obviously, because the real power in the facility lay with the attendants and they decided that he should mingle with the rest of inmates in the common room. There were about 25 of then playing cards and chess, rocking, dribbling, moaning, screaming. Father always said that we should play the cards that were dealt but it looked like Aces and Eights was the hand he held.

"Hi my name is Winston Churchill" came out of the mouth of the short, bald, rotund, man standing in front and below him. Oh Shit! I'm in Oz he thought. How are you doing Winn? I thought you were dead." He figured he may as well play along, it would be easier.

"Shhh, don't talk so loud", Winn said; "It's a secret, I'm in hiding, I'm waiting until the next great world conflict to happen. I'll come out of retirement and lead my people to victory again."

It's hardly a secret if your going around telling everyone that your him." Victor reasoned

"What these people? Most of them are nuts, they don't know their ass from a hole in the ground. That's why I don't swallow the drugs. Don't swallow the drugs, pretend that you do, then take them out and hide them, but be careful because those Nazi Guards are watching you all the time. Whispered Winston.

"Your hiding your drugs somewhere," Victor asked; "because I don't think that they will be giving me any just yet and the way I feel right now, I think I could use some."

"What's your name?" asked Winston; " I'm not about to give my drugs to a perfect stranger."
Victor had to think for a minute until he answered "My name is prot. I'm from the planet K-Pax"

"Your an Alien!" Winn shouted. He apologized for blurting it out, then asked in a whisper, "What are you doing here?"

"I'm hiding from the CIA," Victor said from behind his hand. "They want to make me to tell them about my Planet and the secrets of space travel."

"Be careful we are about to infiltrated by the enemy!" warned Winston.

"Hi my name is Mata Hari" said this exotic woman approaching him with an outstretched hand. Whoever this woman is, crazy or not, she was absolutly stunning. Tall and lean with long black hair, cappachino skin, ruby lips and fingertips. She moved like some exotic green-eyed cat ready to pounce and sink her pearl whites into her prey and Victor prayed it was him "Vat ees your name?" she purred.

"He's an Alien!" blurted Winston. "He's hiding out from the CIA"
"Thanks for keeping that a secret" Victor chided; "I sure hope she can be trusted." He looked at Mata Hari who was staring back at him like he was the last Bratwurst at Octoberfest.

Mata then wrapped her long arms around his waist and purred again; "You can Troost Mata, She vil keep your secret."

Bogey's great line from "The big sleep" came to Victor's mind when Mata pressed herself against him." I was standing in the hall when she tried to sit in my lap." I hope she takes me back to her room and trys to pump me for information, he thought. He looked over at Winston. He looked like a man who had already given up all his secrets and wished he had more to offer. Mata suddenly stiffened and dug her long red nails into his shoulder.
"ACH hear come that swinehund. You must protect Mata from heem. You must tell heem to leave her alone."

"Hi, My name is Jim Morrison." he said.
"He is a swinehund" snarled Mata. He says that he ees the Leezard King and that he can breathe through hees eyes. He is always trying to get Mata alone with him and he is always fleeking his ugly long tounge at her. Tell heem to go away.

Well things are getting interesting thought Victor. Maybe he will not have such a bad time after all. He'll just take his father's advice and play the hand that's dealt. Sex, drugs and Rock & Roll makes for one hell of a good weekend.

6 comments:

Josie Two Shoes September 23, 2007 at 12:12 AM  

What a lovely cast of characters, Webster! I can say with authority that this scenario is far more realistic than you might imagine!! Definitely a fun read, and a zany ending! :-)

Jo September 23, 2007 at 2:03 AM  

Yes, a good cast and a nice twist.

Jo September 23, 2007 at 10:27 AM  

I have to tell you that I've ended up back here after clicking on your comment on Greenish Lady's blog to see who said such a wonderful thing about the look on his wife's face when given flowers lasting forever. And it's you; what a heartwarmer!

gautami tripathy September 23, 2007 at 11:55 AM  

Your create well etched characters. Pleasureto read!

tumblewords September 25, 2007 at 9:08 PM  

Intriguing set up. Hope there'll be more...

paisley September 28, 2007 at 7:14 AM  

that was great... i missed it somehow on sunday... but i am really glad i got over here today!!!!!