Armegeddon

December, 7 2007:

Your evil villain wants to rule the world. Write about her (or his) reasons.

He sat there beside the bed staring at
the plump pink man snoring contentedly before him. The room resembled
more a monks cell then a master bedroom. A small cot against the wall,
one tall dresser, the wooden chair on which he sat and a low side table
on the other side of the room with a hand woven black and blue rug in
front of the table on which sat a plump red cushion. A small cross hascension
ung on the wall over the table. It has begun again, he thought
as he leaned over and sniffed the plump white body before him as if he
were savoring the aroma of a fresh cooked turkey.

Alfred Adams lay asleep dreaming of a christmas
dinner past with family and friends gathered around the table sharing a
meal of all his favorites; mashed potatoes, cream corn,brussel sprouts, carrots, cranberry sauce, gravy and plump oven roasted turkey, when he felt the presence of a stranger. Someone dark and sinister. He thought that he had glanced across the
table and looked into his dark catlike eyes when in fact he had opened
his eyes and was looking at the stranger sitting beside his bed. Alf's
heart leeped to his throat stifling the scream that was struggling to be unleashed, reducing it to a mere AHHHHH! He bolted straight up and pressed his back against the wall. "Who are
you?" he said; "What are you doing in my bedroom?


"You can call me K and you summoned
me." he said so softly that it resembled the purr of vary
large cat.

"I'm afraid your mistaken" Alf stuttered, "In no way did I summon you!"

"Your name is Alfred Adams, is it not and this is Buttcrack Saskatchewan?"

"It's Buetrack
and I did not summon you. I don't care what you say. Why would I summon
someone like you?" He said calmly for he was starting to get back his
nerve confident in the thought that Jesus would protect him.


"Did you not for the last year kneel on
that pillow and pray to God, that he send someone to rid the world
Evil. Did you not pray for the Rapture to begin?" said K
smiling so broadly that two fangs protruded over his lower lips.
"Well, here's
Johnny"

"Your not suggesting that God sent someone as hideous as you! Alf said


"That's not very Christian of you" K
replied in a mocking tone. "What's the matter with me? I am made for
the Job. Did you expect some warrior Archangel to come swooping down
with his horn and sword and do battle? Not! I'm the one to conquer the
World and rid it of Evil. Look at Me!" and he stood and
removed his fur coat and kicked the chair against the far wall. K was
naked under his coat except for a gold loin cloth that wrapped loosely
around his muscled body. He was taller then expected around six foot
seven inches. He had the body of a Swimmer or a male ballet dancer,
strong powerful legs, thin waist and broad muscled chest and back. Wide
shoulders with exceptionally long arms or maybe it was his thin fingers
and long alabaster nails, sharp and curved like a very large cat's that
gave them that illusion. It was his head that gave him the fearful
sinister look that could be soun -nerving and calming at the same time.
His head was almost too small for his body. Thick black hair combed
flat against his skull, Almond shaped cat's eyes, broad flat nose with
flared nostrils constantly sniffing the air, thin red lips with two
protruding fangs that looked very sharp and menacing. He looked like a maniacal Argentine Tango dancer. Just as Alf had finally taken in all of the creature that stood before him, a long red tongue come snaking out and licked the corners of it's mouth. Thhhhlurp.

"Did you just slurp?" exclaimed Alf.

"Sorry it's just that the first is always the sweetest" responded K. Thhhhlurp!

"You
look like that Hindu Goddess Kali your black, except you don't have Ten
arms, Your not a Woman and your eyes are not red but pinkish like you
just smoked a joint or something," Alf said. "You slurped again! Cut
that out!"

"Oooops
sorry again" K apologised. "you people take things all too literally
you get pieces of the puzzle right, then you get off on a tangent and
mystify it all. First of all I'm not black but blue, Indigo actually. I
am both a man and a woman, I believe your term for it is hermaphrodite ,
the difference being that I can reproduce myself. After I make my first
kill, always the one most remembered, I go too sleep and reproduce
myself. One becomes two, two becomes four, then eight and so on and so
on and so on. So I eventually have ten million arms not just ten and My eyes maybe pink now but will become red with blood lust in time." Thhhlurp!

"Why me! I'm not a sinner, I'm a moral God fearing man. Why are you here?" questioned Alf

"Why not you? I have to start somewhere and besides You summoned me." replied K Thhhlurp.

"Quit
saying that, I did not summon you and quit making that disgusting
sound!" Alf was beginning to get a real sense that he was about to
die.

"Ahhhh, I get
it now, you thought that you would be one of the one's that would be
saved. You thought that you would ascend into heaven and sit at the
right hand of God." K chuckled.

"Why not! I'm not a sinner, I believe in God. I go to church. Why do I have to die?" pleaded Alf.

"It doesn't work that way," explained K.
"Every so many million years everything is wiped out except for a few
hundred couples who live in small pockets throughout the world, Eden's
if you will. Not everyone will survive but enough will to begin again.
Speaking of Eden did you know that if TonyBourdain was Adam you would still be living in the Garden of Eden"

"What???" asked Alf.
"Work with me here, If Tony Bourdain was the original Adam of the old Testament you would still be living in the Garden of Eden."
"Ok, Why?"
"Because he would have eaten the snake," howled K.

"Ha Ha very funny! This is just too surreal,tell me the truth I'm dreaming. Right?"


"Well it's sort of a dream, more an
illusion really, your story however. Your the one making it up. You
wished me into existence."said K

"Will you please just stop saying that. What do I have to gain by bringing you into my dream? Tell me! What?"

K
raised his long arms above his head like a conductor about to deliver
the final note to the concert. In a twinkling of an eye his right hand
descended across the throat of Alfred Adams sending his astonished head
across the room onto the side table underneath the ascending
Christ.

Thhhhhhhhhlurrrrrrrrrrrp!