Miscellaneous

Miscellaneous...You could probably write that on my tombstone

FILE ME

UNDER

MISCELLANEOUS

I've never really decided what it is that I wanted to do with my life and even at 60 plus years I'm still waffling with the idea about being a writer. I know that I am definitely a right brained individual and have wasted many precious years pursuing
careers that would provide the security and comfort that all Cancers
yearn for, The worst of them was when I believed that I wanted to be an
accountant. The thing is I have always been aware of the sweat equity
and time it takes to establish expertise in any given field and I feared that I would some day become disillusioned
and saddened by the time I wasted being good at just one thing and then
again maybe I was just too lazy to commit. I think in retrospect I
should have tried an acting career. It is probably the best of them all
because I recognise in myself the ability to be a poser. I slip in and
out of roles with amazing ease. I walk into a car dealership and people
mistake me for a salesman, I enroll in University as a mature student
and they mistake me for a professor. One time when I had time to kill
before attending a wedding reception I stopped into a billiard parlor
that I had never been in before and they thought that I was some pool
shark looking for a mark and that I was purposely missing shots so they would think that I was the mark. oddly enough it gave me a strange feeling of satisfaction.

I've
never had the urge to wrap myself up in a flag, pound my chest and
proclaim that my Country is the best Country in the World. In fact I
believe that would be a great disservice to my Country because although there
are many great and wonderful things about it there are an equally
amount of things that are wrong.

I've also never latched
on to any one ideology. They all look good on paper but they are
overseen by the people for the people so when you throw in all that
Human Nature, Greed and Ignorance none of it produces the Utopia that
we strongly desire.

I've never really commited to any one particlar
religion or spiritual teaching. I've dabbled in most of them throughout
my life and although there are many common threads through out them all
I can't commit to any one of them. For some people the theatre, the
dogma and ritual are comforting but for me they are a turnoff. What
greater Cathedral is there then a stand of old growth forest or a rock
or mesa under the heavens. There are some temples in Japan that have to
be built from the wood of trees that are over a thousand years old. To
me that's akin to nailing Christ on a cross and then worshipping the cross. Maybe that's just me.

I
am very anti-establishment, anti-authoritarian and a borderline
anarchist. I'm not completely convinced that the world would go to hell
in a hand basket if there was no government or police. There would be
initial chaos but I wonder if that wouldn't level off and we would
settle on a fairer kinder system. We as a community would have to deal with the crime
because there would be no authority in place to do so...File it under
miscellaneous musings for it will never happen.

Bottom
line is that I am a dabbler with many varied interests. A flood light
personality as apposed to a spotlight. I would probably be a modern day
Renaissance man if I had any genius or expertise for them but alas I am
a plodder with little commitment to any of them. The one thing that I
am sure of beyond any shadow of doubt is that I am a billion times more
ignorant of things that happen in this world then what I know for
relative surety.

Here's a thought.... Perhaps because I am always searching for meaning and understanding and never fixed on any one given concept, it has kept me young, open to new ideas and always in awe of what can happen around me.
Yes,File Me Under Miscellaneous!