[Fiction] Friday Aug, 17/07

[ Fiction ] Friday Aug. 17/07

Pick an adult character (it can be a new character, an established character, or even a famous character from fiction) and write a scene where the character demonstrates one of the following child-like habits:


John was amazed at how something as simple as watching his grand-daughter liberally apply ribbons of ketchup to her mac and cheese could bring back such wonderful memories of his father.

He must tell her how her great grand-father used to put ketchup on everything except for his steak on which he applied the 'King of Sauces'.... HP.

He remembered his father telling him as a small boy that the man who invented HP sauce should have been knighted because HP was the King of sauces. If Hp was the King then ketchup must be his Queen because he ate it on everything including rice.

He remembered his wife being so devastated because she had meticulously prepared his father a birthday feast of Indonesian dishes only to have him go to the cupboard and retrieve his beloved ketchup and to her horror without taking a single bite of the food apply gobs of it on his rice. He then proceeded to eat everything, go back for seconds and praise her for cooking such a wonderful meal.

He remembered the ride home that night most of all. How his wife in tears of rage could not believe what he had done. It was like he had defecated on her gift to him. She eventually calmed down after He had explained to her that his Father puts ketchup on all his food but he had to admit that seeing him put it on his rice was even new to him. She eventually forgave his father and could look back and laugh at her reaction but she never forgot it, for every time he picked up the ketchup bottle she would remind him that he was just like his father.

He looked at his grand-daughter's ketchup smeared face and smiled. "Have you ever eaten ketchup on toast?" he asked her; "It's much better then Jam. Your great-grandfather taught me to eat my toast that way. Maybe on your next stay-over we can eat toast and ketchup for breakfast?" he said; smiling at her and silently thanking her for the memories of his father.

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[ Fiction ] Friday July 27/07

Is that you Clifford? Yes Mom, it's me.

Have you heard from Lizzie? I'm so worried about her!

Elizabeth's fine Mom. She's a big girl and sensible. We had a E-mail from her yesterday. She arrived safely and finished what is supposed to be the hardest part of her journey, crossing the Pyrenees.

Where is she now?

Right at this moment she should be somewhere afoot between Roncesvalles and Pamplona.

I don't know how you could have let her go off traipsing around some foreign country by herself. I don't know why you are not worried sick about her!

You and Jane have got all the worrying that's needed covered, besides she is on her first big adventure. A Medieval Pilgrimage. One that is taken by thousands of people from all over the world each year. She's hardly alone.

Yeah, but it's a foreign country. How is she going to communicate?

Lizzie minored in Spanish at the University, Mom. She knows enough to get by. I'll E-mail her and ask her to call you when she gets to Leon. Will that help?

Clifford the world is a dangerous place for Women and Children nowadays, so I'm still going to worry.

I know you will Mom but as you well know the World has always been a dangerous place for Women and Children and that shouldn't stop them from living.

--------------OK Son. Keep me informed.

Mom don't let her know when she calls but there is a plan afoot to surprise her and be in Santiago de Compostella when she arrives on July 25th. Everything is fine she will be back with all kinds of stories to tell you in no time at all. We'll come and see you on the weekend. [pause] I love you.

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[ Fiction ] Friday July20/07

Do your best to drop your odd-named character into your mix-and-match scene. Write the scene in the first person Point of View (POV) of the odd-named character. Your scene must have at least two characters.

As with anything creative you can take license to make the two fit together, but try not to ditch it and start over.

I'm not sure if I completely understand the challenge but here it is anyway.

"Ebb, I'm so sorry," said Larry; Ebb's longtime partner. "That was a stupid stunt. You could have had a heart attack! I mean that was some funny shit but totally irresponsible. "

"Yeah, well I should have known you were up to something. You have a real sick sense of humour, you know" Ebb replied, still shaking with the thought of the young guard collapsing out of the corner of his eye. "I bet if I would have fell to the floor and faked a heart attack all your little sphincters would have shut so tight you wouldn't have been able to pass a fart for a week."

" I didn't want you to go out with a whimper," Larry explained. You know the supermarket cake with a thousand candles, weak coffee. Three Cheers for Ebb! Hip Hip! For he's a jolly good fellow crap. I wanted you to go out in style. I wanted it to be memorable. They're going to be talking about this for years! That's no excuse though, it was dead wrong to put you through that. You could have died! You could have dropped a load in your shorts, then we would have to stand around and pretend that everything was right as rain. All perfume and flowers. At any rate I bought you a little something, from me to you because you have always covered my back and I appreciate that. he handed Ebb a box wrapped in brown paper stamped with office stamps .... Date, return to sender, past due etc.

"Thanks, you shouldn't have" said Ebb; " I'll open it later."

" No Ebb I think you should open it now and leans in to whisper in Ebb's ear. I got your back buddy, it's a dozen pair of boxer shorts.

Ebb looked at Larry who was trying with his might to hold it all together, tears streaming down his face all the while choking on suppressed laughter. " You Bastard! I should have drawn my gun and shot you when I had the chance." Ebb said with a huge grin.

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[ Fiction ] Friday July 13/07

It was Ebb's last day on the job and when his partner suggested that they go out in the squad car one more time, for old times sake, Ebb figured that they were just trying to get him out of the office so they could set up a surprise party which they have done for every man and their dog that retires. It never ever surprises anyone but they insist on the ruse anyway.
When they got in the car a call came in telling them to go to Tim Hortons on Alberni Street to deal with an assault, with possible weapons involvement. Two things went through Ebb's head. One being that he was in no hurry to get involved with an arrest and have to write up reports on his last day and the other was that there wasn’t an incident at all because the Tim Horton’s on Alberni was a popular donut shop with the Downtown department and he had a gut feeling that they were going to surprise him at Timmy’s. When they pulled into the parking lot Ebb was relieved to see a familiar Police ghost car in the lot. He reminded himself to try and look really surprised and not let their efforts go to waste.

On entering the Donut shop he was surprised to see a young East Indian security guard and a clown being restrained by a couple of undercover cops. “What’s going on here?” Exclaimed Ebb's partner.
“He punched me in the nose!” shouted the clown. “Arrest him, he tried to kill me!” Ebb’s partner told him to take the security guard and that he would question the clown. That’s just fucking great thought Ebb, what a great last day this is turning out to be.

Ebb pulled the security guard off to one side and asked him what happened. “ I was standing in line minding my own business. I just wanted to pick up a coffee and a boston cream before going to work when this mad clown came pushing in front of me. I tapped him on the shoulder and told him that I was here before him. I am not a violent man, I’m a pacifist and I am so ashamed at myself for hitting him but he called me a filthy Paki and that I should go back to where I came from and that Tim Hortons don’t sell Chai tea anyway. I just hit him without thinking and I kept on hitting him until they pulled me off him. I am not a violent man. I have a gun but it’s not even loaded.” He spoke very softly and was very agitated as he reached to show Ebb his empty gun.

“ Don’t do that. Don’t be touching your gun;” Ebb uttered.

“ No I’ll take it out gently with two fingers to let you see that it’s not loaded. I’m a Buddhist and I don’t believe in guns. I only carry it because they say I have to;” he said as he reached round for the gun.

Ebb was busy writing in his report book when he heard three gunshots and out of the corner of his eye he saw the young man crumble to the ground. “Holy Shit!!” he cried and turned to see the three officers with their guns un-holstered and pointing at the place where the young man once stood.

“He was drawing down on you Ebb;” his partner shouted. “Oh God!, Oh God!, Oh God!” cried Ebb. "He just wanted to show me his empty gun". At that moment his Captain entered the shop. Everything was happening so fast. Ebb looked at the captain and told him that it was all his fault. He should have told his partner that everything was OK. He should have stopped the young man from touching his gun. “I take full responsibility, Cap!” Ebb confessed.

At that moment the young man moved and Ebb yelled at the top of his lungs, “He’s Alive! He’s Alive!” The Captained grabbed Ebb by his shoulder and looked him in the eye and whispered; “I hate to have to tell you this, Ebb but ….” YOU’VE JUST BEEN PUNKED!!!! Came a resounding shout from everyone in the shop.

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[ Fiction ] Friday July06/07

Fiction Friday Challenge for July 6, 2007:

Here’s this week’s challenge:

Choose one of the following odd character names and create a character sketch to go along with it. The genre, if any, is up to you. I leave it up to you to decide exactly what the sketch includes, but don’t just give us a physical description and a career, tell us about the character. Some common features of a character sketch: physical description, job, hobbies, education, family, habits, fears, dreams, history and anything else that helps you understand the character better. Make it an interesting character because we’re going to use them in a future [Fiction] Friday.

Ebenezer Benjamin Brown, Ebb to his co-workers but also known as the "British bulldog" because of his striking resemblance to this pugnacious beast. He was short, barrel chested, ham fist ed tank, that balanced precariously on a pair of spindly bow legs.
Ebb's early years as an amateur wrestler helped shape a face that only a mother and people who liked bulldogs could love, with his squarish head with thrice broken nose, that no longer had the will or the way to stand out from his face, and cauliflower ears.
The flattened nose burdens him with another comparison to his canine twin in that whenever Ebb exerts himself he has the tendency to snuff and snort like he is under great duress to take a breath.
There is a story that goes around the station that in all likelihood has been embellished over the years. Once when Ebb was a junior officer, he and his partner were about to make an arrest of a very drunk belligerent offender who was carrying a baseball bat. On seeing Ebb coming at him the criminal shouted to stand back or he would beat him until he was handsome. This caused his partner to howl with laughter which in turn gave the assailant the giggles rendering him helpless to Ebb. Ebb couldn't understand what was so funny, the man was drunk and didn't know what he was saying.

Ebb worked thirty years for the Vancouver Police and was set to retire in one week. As a detective in the major crimes unit, he had been shot twice, stabbed once. He had three commendations for bravery and was the most respected officer in the department. Every man knew that Ebb would lay his life on the line to protect his partner.
Until recently he feared no man and no thing. At the age of fifty-five, fear presented itself to him in a most unexpected way. He was to retire in one week and he did not know what he would do with himself. All his friends worked within the Department and he had vowed long ago that he would not be one of those retirees that came back and hung around the station getting in everybody's way. He had acquired no hobbies or interests over the years . His work was everything to him and soon it would be no more. Ebb feared lonliness more then death itself.

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